Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
