why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
