my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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