Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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