The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize