An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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