well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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