One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
