I wish i was in the wii world.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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