He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
