Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
