im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
