These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
