I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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