office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh god it's open bar.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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