I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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