So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
