If i come over, it means nothing
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize