D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
