I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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