Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
the raccoons are back...
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