My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
