how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
