I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
