She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
