they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
