So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
