it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
