ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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