Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
