Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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