CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
