just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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