she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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