I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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