please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
