She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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