Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
