So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
