some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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