I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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