We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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