we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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