what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
