I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
