But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
