How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
