a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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