I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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