i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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