Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
