hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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