i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize