Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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