I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
