When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
