god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize