I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
