walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
