Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
