The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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