it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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