I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
