Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The maid of honor just puked.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
two words...techno handjob
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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